Heart

I did have fun in the kick-boxing kind of class
I found that this is actually a nice way to channel out
all the anger that I kept inside
that I can no longer show

i found that when the trainer say "HARDER!"
my body is immediately react to that

when the trainer say "aim your target"
the face of HIM
came out
i think this shows that
i really need to punch him
i am really furious at him deep down

i keep punching his face
kicking his face
i really think he deserve all these
after what he did
with only his mouth and his action

take that
i say
for revenge purpose

i am more relax after that

now....
having so much pain
on my hand and back

That is what they said to me

People one:
"Cherry, why you are not going?? The incident is like a decade or a century ago, why can't you just let go?"

People two:
"Cherry, the past had already past. Nobody even talks about it anymore. Is it that hard? I know you won't go out because there has some people that you do not like about. I guess they will be happy because you are there if you really went."

It is the past
I do not suffer over it a lot now
but what i want to voice out is
it is actually easier for you to say than for me to do it in real life

When i talked about those dark memories of mine
I will be smiling and laughing
when i did all those flash back
but did you guys saw
those feeling and tears in my eyes

I laugh because I found myself foolish inside the story
I smile because I survive from that

do not think i am that kind of people that remember everything bad of another person
i am just being used to acting like this
i am just scared that i will be soft-hearted again

The he or the she

that:

1. trust you in whatever decision you made
2. never doubt you
3. give full support to you whenever and wherever
4. hug you when you need it
5. listen to the phone call with you crying as the background music
6. who lend you the shoulder
7. who understand you
8. who can talk with you the whole night non-stop
9. who can look at you differently and convey the message across
10. who will advise me
11. who will critise me
12. who will tell me what is right to do without breaking my own personality and pride
13. who will be with me forever

that sound easy

but not very but i met some

This is a fact that cannpot be denied
I sometimes hate it also

just because i start talking about the past
i just can't get rid of it

I want to get away from it
but true in the sense that
part and parcel of life is full of memories
that may hurts

can i get over it
i does not hurt anymore now
not as much as last time
but it is now a reminder

appreciate your true friends
treasure them

有时人的心总是很复杂的，它可以很坚强也可以很脆弱..坚强的时候可以一滴眼泪也没有即时当时的心是淌着血的...同样的当脆弱的时候可能一句话就足以造成严重的创伤，可能造成永远在心中的痛，再也无发回头了...

saw this words in facebook written by one of my senior

this is very true for me
i guess everyone has bad times in life
this is very usual for all people who live in this world
it depends on how bad the bad time is
and how you really handle the bad time both physically and mentally

i really understand this few words in depth
because i think i had pass this stage
and anticipating another similar incident
and hopefully it wont happen again
if it happens again
i will really handle it very well because i had an experience before

very well
i can still feel the impact of this words
it seems to be carve in my heart
everything made me realise that

sad and being hurt is what we need to be familiarise with
heart of human being is very weak
it is actually made of glass
and i do not really agree that people who has a metal heart
it is just that
the heart is still glass and after a lot of breaking
the heart will unconsciously build some metal to surround it to act as a shield
so that the risk of being hurt is minimize to the minimum
but how strong the shield is
it will break someday some how

words is sometimes sharper than any weapons in the world
it hurts people so fast and the pains of it retains
how long can it retain?
it depends on how strong the word is and what is the tone like

maybe one sentence is enough to kill a person
and
it being hurts forever
the person has to bare the pain forever
and the one who says that can really run away from being painfull
how unfair is that

but that is it
life is always unfair
reality is always cruel

thats life
thats life~~

it is really kind of different experience
and it is fun
except the ache after that

i really hope christina have a good laugh with my not so funny words and expression

there is always the 1st time anyway

Dear friend.....