Truth or Lies

Over the past 6 years, there has been lots of learnings and experience.
I believe that it has brought the best and worst of me throughout this journey.
Because of that, I do treasure all the memories that comes along with it regardless good or bad.

I do want to believe that everyone has a good heart and meant what they were saying. However sometimes my instinct told me otherwise which I choose to ignore and believe in what I want to believe.

These few months have been extremely tough for me looking back and thinking how to move forward from there and I saw a quote.

"When a flower doesn't bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower."

This makes me stop and ponder.

Why it is not applied on us and our life? When someone is not performing then most or majority of the blame goes to that person 1st? Comments such as "You need to take initiative and show that you want to take charge of your development", "You need to open up so that others could help you", "You need to think of what you want", "We care about you and we want to help you move to the next level", etc etc.

I do not and will never deny that an individual needs to play a part in their own development be it personal or career, however the environment needs to provide oxygen, sunlight and water as well for the individual to bloom. Or one will say, the individual needs to create that environment to grow as well.

No doubt, that is true as well.

I learnt alot throughout this period especially with one of my associate when he is in the PIP programme. He thought me that what others assume it as a norm takes a great effort for some one else to show. He is blooming in his own way but does not fit the current environment but he can definitely bloom well in a better environment that suits him.

One man's medicine is another man's poison. I believe everyone shines in their own way and I thank those who brought the best and worst out of me so that I can acknowledge my worst and face it.

Change is something inevitable.

Goodbye is a new hello to new adventure and I am definitely ready to take on a new adventure!

Exhausted

I am tired of explaining.

What had happened and things get passed around, people will have an impression about it. I am tired of justifying that I am not and it is not true.

I am tired of justifying or explaining.

If that is what you think it is then it is. I am felt so awful to just do things to prove everyone wrong and be unhappy about it.

I am worthless, useless and maybe it will be good that I do not even exist in this world at all.

Recent

After so long of not blogging, I guess now its to document and write down the current feelings rather than keep it just as a noise in the heart.

Over the pass 2 years things haven't been great at work. I guess its me, or to be honest I have no idea whether is it me or not cause rumours said that it is me. Slowly the more I hear the more I start to doubt.

I felt defeated most of the time and I realised that I try to please everyone just to make sure that my effort can keep their mouth shut but the more I do that the more I am unhappy as I am exhausted.

I felt loss and I couldn't stop crying.

Maybe its just me.

Maybe its just me.

or

Maybe it is me.

久违了

对部落格的书写，感觉放弃了好久~

今天从新翻阅，却又有了想要记载的冲动

在新的一年，完完全全告别了学生的身份
不习惯

相较之下
感觉工作更加的忙碌
精神与身心更显得疲惫

靠量的事物
明显增加

无时无刻
都向往着假期
可是却
遥遥无期

不要再埋怨了

加油吧！

异常

今晚的我
有些异常

可能是被某人
激起和他跟她的回忆

回想起来
心中没有了
一丝丝的波澜
却只有
多一点点的看透

我一直相信
朋友很重要
如果要别人待你真心
你就必须先交出真心

一直以来
这个原则
我都没有放弃
也是到今时今日
都还在实行

无论受到多少伤害
都不会改变这个原则

因为真心的朋友很难寻

受到伤害有如何？

就当是一个教训吧~

然后远离此人
我不希望
这个人在我的世界里存在
以防他再一次伤害

这是我的保护
请明白

讨厌

我什么都OK

最讨厌和妈妈讨论金钱的问题

其实我确实自有安排

可是妈妈她最喜欢跟我讨论钱

工作以后每个月要给家用300

汽车自己来

生活自己来

听得我心都烦

原来有钱比自己女儿找到工作来得兴奋

既不会明白工作的性质

也不会明白我所希望

休息

难得有时间给我赖在家什么都不做

最近见面很频密

自己心中却知道

未来像这样的日子不多了

尽量珍惜吧

鼓励支持陪伴

这好像是我可以给的

就这些

再多的我都给不了

发现人性很险恶

身边的那个小菜已经不是之前认识的

变化无穷

让我看见了

心却凉了一大截

希望你安好

未来顺利

我只能祝福