Sentimental

Suddenly

I feel like writing something sentimental

Rainbow in heart

glowing in the dark

trying to shine

to overcome the dark

evil darkness overwhelmed

control the bright blue clouds

rainbow stares

without anything

rainbow tries and tries

fail to the mission

fade away

as darkness became

more and more controlled

People laugh

People cry

People gossips

rainbow just

have something to say but nothing came out

just because

rainbow knows that this is the right decision

for herself

to pick up her colours again

else where

where darkness doesn't bother her anymore

rainbow smiles

rainbow laughs

rainbow matured

rainbow slowly have her colours on

although is not that strong anymore as the past

but she still shines and glows

at least she can now manage to shine her own self out of darkness

and by the time she really stands up

she wil shine other people with her colours and bring them out of their darkness too

rainbow knows something

that will change

and

something that will not change

It is her

that will not change

she will still be shining

just that the timing change

that she should not be shining at all

the timing is right again

she will shine maybe more beautiful than before

she also learn that

if old things did not past

when will the new experience comes

so

she shall shine for her own lives

Her live should be full of colours and

rainbow can assure herself that

she will shine

she will

shine

better than ever

she shall shine

till the last breathe of hers

and rainbow can do it

without caring what people says

rainbow will always be rainbow

with 7 beautiful and magnificent colours

that can brings happiness to people

that she love

Curiousity

Out of a sudden

i feel like writing and writing and

writing non stop

like a total mad person

haha

i even laugh at myself now

even my mom almost blurted out and ask me why i always laugh

when i was typing at the keyboard and staring at the screen

ahahaha

sound like an insane person

nvm

i shall be doing that alot

haha

this two weeks i will be going through it

juz like

Mr Thomas Wilson

in The Lotus Eater

ahahaha

feel like flying actually

something made my heart feel lifted and take off

part of the weight

part and parcel of life

i heard of it lots of time ago

and i understand that

everyone has to go through that

and yeah

everyday is a new day to learn

and to pick up the lesson of the day and learn it thoroughly

lol

i am thinking will i improve my english

by writing all these

this sounds like rubbish if you mention to english

but the whole thing

is written in a language

i think it is counted though

一起

不是说了要永远在一起吗？
不是说了遇到什么困难都要以起面对吗？
不是吗？
难道忘了吗？
那些承诺算什么？
甜蜜的日子忘了吗？
辛酸的日子忘了吗？
辛苦的日子忘了吗？
疲累的日子忘了吗？

那不是一辈子最美好的回忆吗？
为什么有了要离开的念头？
那我算什么？
在身旁默默的支持算什么？

虽然我相信
一切都会没事
可是心中的波浪还是那么得不能平服
会好的吧？
答应过的不是吗？

不要忘了好吗？
要一起走下去好吗？
再多的明天
再多的明年
都要一起走下去好吗？

能在一起不是心愿吗？
能在一起不是每个人生日的愿望吗？
能一起努力不是很好吗？
能一起度过不是应该珍惜吗？

不要忘记那些承诺好吗？
不要忘了我好吗？

一切都会好的
会有一个完美的解释吧！
对不对？

会的
一定会的
我有完全的信心
这一切都不是问题
毕竟已经经历了很多很多
都可以熬过去
一定可以的
我相信
我信任

我永远爱你！

回顾

常常我都会回想
想着想着也会觉得自己真得很笨
明明有很多的教训
为什么还是那么笨
对每一个朋友都那么信任
对每一个朋友都那么全心全意
对每一个朋友都是付出一百分
可是到最后受伤的还是自己

眼泪真的好多
多得自己也有点讨厌了
可是它就是一滴一滴替自己的主人表现了它主人的心情
它的工作从来就没有间断过

短短的几个月
就让我觉得好像
看到了夏天的落叶带有春天的雪

为什么自己那么的放不开
为什么发生了那么多的事情自己还是那么的放不开
明明早就应该放开
可是。。。。
可能是因为自己心中觉得
朋友比什么都重要
自己怎么想也不会想到有这样的事情会发生
不能接受吧
为什么还要在乎？

我真的觉得这班朋友让我有了很多的第一次
第一次不会忘记一个人所说的一番话
第一次忍到瓶子满满了还在忍
第一次被这么多人误会
第一次听到一个人的声音会哭
第一次长这么大后悔自己的决定
第一次一个人为了一些人做了很多东西
第一次尝试笑着面对
第一次心中很伤心可是却笑了
第一次尝试到眼泪是那么苦涩与温热
第一吃尝试到想要消失的冲动
第一次不想面对每一个人
第一次不想说话
第一次怕为了让别人再次误会把一切都忍了下来
第一次想把手机丢向大海
第一次不想被人发现自己的所在处
第一次发现风吹乱了发丝却也可以把我的心吹乱
第一次发现自己可以听着自己的心跳哭
第一次发现自己迷路了
第一次发现自己的没用
第一次发现有时候世界是不公平的
第一次发现自己离快乐和开心好遥远
第一次发现自己竟然不会笑了

太多的第一次
让我觉得
好无奈

对啊
我是在逃避
可是除了逃避我还能做什么？
难道是面对吗？
难道真的是面对吗？
如果让我选择面对或逃避
我还是会选择逃避
我怕我自己控制不了自己
伤害了别人

好笨啊！
还在为别人想
那么自己呢？
理智的头脑一直不断地在提醒
可是为什么我还是为了这个原因放弃面对
你可是说这是借口吧

可是我自己很了解自己
我说的每一句话
我做的每一决定
我做的每一个举动
都有自己的理由
我现在真的不管你赞同或否
因为我不想再把自己变得那么伟大
为了别人不为自己想想
是很笨的举动

现在的我
真得很脆弱
好像真的需要时间慢慢的疗伤

我真的不会在原谅那些伤害我然后第二天摸摸我的头说对不起的人
因为那样自我不但不会觉得好过
而且我只会觉得更加难过罢了
那个举动只会把伤口插得更深而已

可能离开你们每一个人
会对大家都好一些吧
让我一个人离开
可能天空会比较蓝呢
可能海水会比较清澈

可能决定离开就没有必要再回来
可能离开后大家都好过那又何必回来呢？
曾经拥有的时间真的好短暂
可是曾经拥有比没有来得更好

是吧？
我就来尝试一下吧
虽然心里很矛盾
可是应该有了一定的决定了
就准备慢慢的放开吧
让大家都自由

可以的
没有我的存在会好一点吧？
我真的是那样希望的

为什么坏人不继续走下去呢
这应该是坏人做了最后的坏事

不要再说没有人对或错
因为大家都没有想到在自己把那句话讲出来的时候
心中已经有了谁对谁错
只是没有发现而已
这可是自然现象
也不能怪谁

算了吧
再多的泪
再多的血
再多的对不起
再多的谢谢
再多的问候
再多的劝解
再多的游说
也已经没有用了

当有些东西在那一刻做错了
就算以后再怎么补救也已经太迟了
就像感情在过了有效期限后
再多的挽回也是于事无补

人生如戏
戏如人生
反反复复
毫无意义
刻骨铭心
心力交瘁
呕心沥血
唉声叹气
值得回忆
只是过去

Shut Up

I dun wan to have to explain all of the things
i dun even quite care u understand or not
i do understand myself that i did something for some reasons
some VALID REASONS
that i dun care u think is valid or not

i dun wan to argue
i dun wan to explain
i am darn tired of doing all of these

get to know something
unbelievable that she can knows wat i try to say
with juz an flick of an eye

面对

某些时候让我回顾了这些日子发生的一切
发现很多的东西来得很快
去的也很快
人与人之间发生了微妙的改变
在这些事情发生后
我发现对每一个人都有了不同的看法
对着每一个人我的心就必须做出不同的调整来面对不同的人

好累
真的好累
心已经好累
我不想对着不同的人
我的心就要做出不同的调整

是啊
我是希望每一个人都能开心的笑
我从来就不在乎我开不开心
最重要的的就是他们可以开心
可是你又知不知道
在这些事情后的嘻嘻哈哈
都是多大的努力吗？

我真的不想再面对你们
每一个人
累了
让我消失一下好吗？
把那将来的两个星期假期让我消失好吗？
让我不用面对你们每一个人好吗？
每一天面对你们的心情都好重
可是还是要笑

我不想
真的不想
再面对你们

在把这些文字
一字一句的打完
我还是呆呆的望着荧幕
看来心早就已经下决定
冷冷的心
灰冷的心
原来早就在身边了

Happy.....Sad

I really feel so happy at tat moment
i really hope tat it doesn't stop there
and i really now feel so sad
so wtf
such emotional nowadays...
college is something i dun quite wanna face
i know its a must to go
but mayb there is lots and lots of things happen there
and i dun quite really enjoy walking there and
have everything replay again and again everyday
its such a nightmare
and now going college is juz a responsibility
and thats all
so its so hard for me to think
that its time to go college tmr
and yeah
i have to do so
and
relationships have changed
and i am so amazed by all these "natural phenomenon"
so hard to endure
but i will do it
and i really hope that there is nothing more
that going to happen
as i really cant take it anymore
my heart is overload now
feeling harder and harder to breathe
and i understand that everyday is everyday
and
every minute will be itself

Brainless

Having all these today
is totally so fun and so relax
thx theng for accompany me
and i really did have a nice time today
and everything is so comfortable
and everything is so nice
feel so enjoy for the 1st time in this whole month
totally without stress
and juz chit chat and laugh as freely as usual
as the old me again
do not feel any bad moment at all

Breathe

Half of it can be let go but
there is still a lot to hold on to
and the whole week is full of challenges and
the ability to work with full tensed up environment and
totally not fun at all
and my heart mind and soul are
so tired
they keep complaining
but wat can i do??

Juz keep on breathing
thats all

Wat a nice day

Today after my class
while waiting for my Malaysian study class
then czelyn saw the
Maybeline New York
Simply Fabulous things
then she dragged me to play wif her
then ok loh
i nvm mah
juz make up then take pic
thats wat i do always de lah
biasa ad

Lets the pic do all the talking lah:

Yeah
Thats with the banner
will upload the better view taken by the professional photographer


Closer view
as usual
nothing diff
but most of them were so shock

Wif Nadiah
the funny and funky girl

Hui Lei
quite a nice girl to talk to...
very nice

me n czelyn
her dream accomplished

mission accomplished

on the way home
such emo faces

y do i look like an ostrich leh??

emo again??

haha laugh
because today is a nice day for me

i was so scared today when i knew that i m going to meet
some formal people at starbucks from big company
i really thought is one person only
then its ok lah
but it turned out to be 3
i was so darn shocked
but nvm nvm
its for our own good
i have to pretend to be confidence
i have a cup of Americano
but i was so afraid
i keep stirring it
but i can speak so fluently
but in hard
i tell myself
need to endure this
for real
really

and at last it was over
they are so friendly
and i am so proud of myself
that i can handle it so well

Miss

Missing all my frens here and there
miss the time to chat
miss the time to cry on their shoulder
miss the time to laugh on the floor
miss the time that argue together and laugh at each other later
miss the time we act as a team in the sketch
miss the time we finishes the biggest event in our life
miss the time we rush here and there
miss the time we discuss
miss the time we kay-poh
miss the time we hit each other
miss the time we buy stuff together
miss the time we celebrate each other's birthday with touching plans
miss the time we eat together
miss the time we had meetings together
miss the time we play together
miss the time we take pictures together
miss the time we tall to each other about our heart
miss the time we work as a team and do everything together
miss the time we had outings together
miss the time we study together
miss the time we had cold wars
miss the time we going back together
miss the time we had together in my house
miss the time we conduct everything together
miss the friendship that we had
miss everyone
miss the one can understand me
miss the one can make me laugh
miss the one can make me cry
miss the one can make me angry
miss the misunderstandings
miss the looks in the eyes
miss the fun together
miss everything
and miss anything

friends.....

miss yitheng
miss jen
miss yee teng
miss pui yan
miss audrey
miss yen yee
miss steph
miss xini
miss katrin
miss chenli
miss jia woon
miss pui kei
miss shu shyan
miss angeline
miss caryn
miss wai yen
miss vanessa
miss pei san
miss everyone

Stress

I really so stressed out
that i almost give up.....
i almost
i almost

when i saw them
i cried
i saw their hardwork
their passion for us
they did together
he can do it
he can really endure a life tougher than mine
then y should i give up
he is so tired
but he is still him
they are all tired
but they din show
they did it so well
to make all of us proud of them
i should also make them proud to have me
he is the one i love
he is my almost everything now
he works hard
i too work hard

i really love u
i really do

Yi Theng

I will never forget this picture
juz as u say......

To my friend,
Life is getting complicated and I know it really going to drive you crazy. I think understand how you feel if my assumption is correct. Guys are brainless, they never think about other feeling.
If you really couldn't stand it, just take action to stop the suffering. I will respect your final decision.
Hopefully when you view this picture, this post will remind you us, friends who always there, stand by you. Hope it will chase the blue out of you. *smile*
I'm there for you to phone me.



When i saw this,
my eyes waters
u r always the one who can understand me and touch my heart
I am really getting insane day by day
and i think ur assumption is right....
i am so aimless now do not know what action should be taken
maybe i think too much
and yeah some guys are brainless
You always be by my side and respect all my decisions
because u sure understand wat make me made that decision
and i will always view that pic and remember that
u really stand by me everytime and anything happen
i really feel better when u assure me more
and thx for picking up all the call
whether with tears or without

心痛？

我真的不再为了这一切的一切心痛
虽然心中还是有点重
可是泪水已经不会再流了
我会笑着去面对
可是在笑的背后可是付出了很大的努力
我不想再回到从前
我真的不想
我不想这一切的一切重来
让自己再一次的受伤
这一次我只觉得
保持现在的情况是最好的
现在不是很好吗？
可以重来我真的不会在选择认识
也就不会受伤
也不会有烦恼
原点看起来好遥远
不想在回去的路途中再次的回顾
人生就只可以向前走
没有得再回头
没有得再重新选择
让我学会了很多

坚强的我
会坚强的走下去
会笑着走下去
不会再去回顾
就因为
我真的累了
我真的伤了
全身伤痕累累
没有完好无缺的一体
但
我会回来的

一切的一切
现在的决定
我一辈子也不会后悔

Difference

Falling
Failing
is just the matter of letters
and it make such difference

complications
complicated
is just the matter of tenses
and it make the meaning different

People
Pieces
is just the matter of words
and it sound so different

everything
everyone
almost the same
and it still not the same

breathing
restless
craziness
that overwhelmed me
stop and think
turn my head around
and i had walked a long journey
and leave lots of footprints
here and there
just to indicate
i was there
just there
to inform everyone
actually i exist in this world

then i look ahead
there is still a long journey to go either
the road is still quite clean and fresh
waiting me to step on it
and as the same as the past
leave footprints here and there

it really depends on how
where and why
i leave footprints

different pattern of footprints
different colours of footprints
different ways to leave footprints
different feelings when leaving footprints

All these make differences
and it also can be used to judge me
did i went backwards
did i changed
did i went bad
did i do something wrong
did i regret
did i ...............

differences is what we need in order to grow
get use to it
just because path of life is full of all these
to make us fall
to make us think
to make us grow
all of these are made purposely and specially for us
by God
to test us
to try us
to let us understand more about us
to let us know how idiot are us

Love

when love is here
you would not know

when love is gone
you would be there
hugging yourself
blaming yourself
crying to yourself

but time
is not going to
rewind for you
but
you have to start to learn
how to move on

sometimes
do hope that
someone is there

waiting for you
smiling at you
ready to hug you
ready to kiss you
ready to comfort you
ready to make you laugh
ready to scold you
ready to fight with you
ready to listen to you
ready to talk to you
ready to share memories with you
ready to go through tough times together
ready to hold you when you fall
ready to cry with you
ready to miss you
ready to be with you
ready to worries about you
ready to know more about you
ready to learn new things with you
ready to dream about you
ready to care about your health
ready to notice your changes
ready to stand by your side
ready to present you with roses
ready to change your life
ready to do everything together

ready to let you and the whole world know that

he/she loves you

love is blind

love is always blind

now i believe
this sayings

the
sweetness
sourness
bitterness
of love

i can assure you that
you cant forget it
forever and ever

its in your heart
carved it
there



This is what i think about love
or you can say
this is what i fantasize about love

but love is still miles away

Heart

I found out that emotions is too hard to be control
it is going on a roller coaster
and
everything is in small little fragment and pieces
and is hard to be glued together again
mayb is my fault lah....
mayb is not
how should i know
i did wat i think is correct
and i din regret doing that
so i still feel sad
because i trusted so much on him
but he haiz.....
nvm.....
but i really feel haunted
by his words when i ever hear his voice
watever now

thx glady for accompany me the whole day
let my mind keep working on
so that i wont have time to think bout other stuff
thx leh.....
i dun noe lah
mayb i bother u or used up ur time too much ad
but anyway
thx very much

theng....
i really miss u like heaven and hell
lots and lots of things happen here
and i guess lots of it u will be able to understand
although the human inside the story
would be a stranger to u
i sometimes really hope that u r here
with me
fight this hard time together
lol
i sound so childish and kid-ish

I cant control myself these days
tears is getting more and more
where am i?
i cant take it anymore
i really cant take anymore
i wanna a shoulder to lean on
i wanna myself being hug tight
i wanna myself running away from all of these
i almost fall apart
i almost

Summary

Lots of things happened
in this short few days
and it seems that
all of us are just as fine as nothing had happened at all
but i do think that
something has changed
and the change will be permanent.
I can assure this
i can feel strongly that
there are still differences when all of us
are together and laughing as usual
Maybe thats my own personal opinion
and towards the 5 people
i did not want to mention
that although nothing seems
to happen but changes had already been made

A broken glass will still have the scar
although u stick it back

the words that keep echoing in my head
and that will be the words that i will
never be able to forget about it forever
in my whole life
whenever i hear your voice
it haunt me
and i keep flashing back the whole scenario

pls bare in mind that i m also human
i do have feelings
i do feel sad
i do feel the pain

pls do not wait till the last minute and
only found out that u did something wrong
that hurt me a lot

Erm
something happened
lots of things happened
plenty of feelings mixed up
plenty of rational between my head
plenty ............
pain here and there
the most painful will be my own eyes
since i cry the most these days
laughters??
u may be will ask??
where is all the laughters??
i dun noe
but i really din laugh since monday till now
i really have no mood to laugh
i feel that
i kind of returning back to the state
that i have been
like
nothing can make me laugh
and nothing can make me cry anymore
i think that
my heart feel like i need to stoned up myself for sometimes ad
wat i wanted to say is that
dun ask whether i m ok or watever
and pls do remember that
the cherry here wont fall apart
juz be different ad
thats all

i do feel that sometimes i really should leave
maybe they do not need me anymore there
everything seems fine
and everyone is fine
so i think and still thinking
is it a wise choice to leave
to let myself
really leave for a while
or maybe longer

heart is something that is difficult to understand
and
especially different people
heart is different
what they feel also different

i need time i think
or time cant help me this time
although everytime i do think that time
help me to heal
but actually it doesn't
it just that i keep it in the heart and just dont dare to touch it
and when someone accidentally touched it
the pain is still the same
nothing different
so i dun trust that this time
mr time can help me

i m kind of tired ad
very tired
but
i wont and never will fall apart
thats for sure