Sunday, July 6, 2008

6/7/2008

Actually
This morning
it was so not my day
tears
was something
i am learning
how to control

and the tears
are there
keeping it
storing it
make it worse
increase the pain
increase everything
i did not let it out
in this week
juz keeping it there

was killing me
pain increases
stability decreases
i let it out
this morning
not fully lah
but juz 1/4

it was nothing
but when yi theng
came
everything worsen
worst
even worst
that i lost control on myself
totally
totally
lost control
the 1st class
was without a word
juz keeping quite
before helen
in
the tears flow down
even she was in the class
it starts to drop
i cant let her see it
juz wipe it away
but
there is still tears
it swallow it
swallow it
swallow it
swallow it
back
everything
then
quite ok
when to kl2

when i see them
sze jing and yu ching
and the hug
almost make me cry
almost but
goin to start then
i though of pretend not to let them see
juz smile

then they did ask
i straight went to toilet
and
take a deep breath
and
quite ok ad
then i went down
yu ching ask me
y so pale?
even kelly also ask?
then sze jing say
izit about frens
then i juz smile

smile
smile
smile
then she say dun so stress lah
hug
i was still very pale and
chiao chui
that the word
to describe me this morning
super pale

smile
smile
i continue
but i went to mr lim class
straight away
i dun have
that kind of feeling
that
i have something
pressing on me
make me hard to breathe
that feeling disappear

he really looks like my dad
his smile towards me
totally
different
i can feel it
so strongly
so close together

he also can do it lah
but take a longer time
but he stilll managed to have
that kind of effect on me
really.

then
i was half away cure


AND

AFTER

THIS

I WAS
IN
THE SKY

TOTALLY
FLYING
SO GREAT

TODAY
IS MY DAY
MY DAY
MY DAY
!!!!

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