the day after the day

Yeah
i bet a lot of u all will want to know
how have i been right
after yesterday's ups and downs, hell and heaven

so i was able to put on a fake smile until the end of the day
when the lights went out
tears keep flowing out of my eyes
that i cant even stop it
i dun even noe what time i started
i think its around 10pm lah
i cry until i cant even sleep

when i close my eyes
a lot of scenes flow back into my mind
and
a lot of dialogue keep ringing in my ears.

that even make the tears flow even more
i think until around 2am only i stop the mission of flooding my own house.

yeah
i cant even forgive myself to make all my friends
worried about me
but what can i say
i do realy know that i need a lot of time to recover

especially - confidence
i can even realise it that my hands shake pretty serious
when i face people

this is one of the symptoms of me lacking of confidence
that has never been here for so many years but it came back

i am still ok gua
if u all want to noe
din cut myself with knife
din think of suicide
juz that my eyes is smaller only lah
so u all noe loh what happen