Stuff

Having a lots of stuff in mind lately
nothing seems to be fine actually

Feel like running away from everything
just because all these things seems to be unsolve-able

I really do not like to be in this kind of situation all the days
but i really think
why can't everything be smooth and manageable
Hooooo~~~~

what a stressful week and all the following days

a lot of things ahead of me
but i do not have the motivation to move on
everyone keeps pushing me to face the reality
but why can't they just help me to settle the problems

i do not feel like changing environment
i hate the feeling of starting all over again
no
i can't say that
i do not have the courage to start all over again
especially in friendship

i really do not feel like going to a new environment and
start going through all the new process
and know new people and do not see any faces that i knew

i really hate to change
maybe i am just scared of changing anyway
everyone just do not like to walk out of their comfort zone
just as what Sir Sean always told us

what if i really have the money?
does it make any difference?

i guess yes
everything is always different when you have the financial ability

i am confused
i need distraction
i am still me
the one who always want to runaway from problems

i do know that this habit is bad
but it does not means that i will not face the problems for the rest of my life
i just need time

i just need plenty of time
to let myself to walk out of it

i know i can walk out of it but not in a split second
and definitely not in a few weeks time

i walk out of it once
and i really trust i can

it is just the matter of time