Realise

I realised after I talked with one of my best friend I can get yesterday

that something is really missing from me

the determination of being there at my own ultimate goal is not strong enough

The motivation force pushing me behind is not strong enough as well

Although I have the motivation there to really strive for excellence but it still not there yet

I am actually curious about what is the force that pushes me before that gone down

The fire that is still there but not as hot and wild as like time

I know that when people grow older, mature

they saw different perspective or view at different life point.

I had mine. Truthfully saying it was utterly painful but useful

I agree with the phrase we found yesterday

"Everyone has to be stupid first in order to become smart later"

Whenever we flash back to the past, I will really think: oh my, how can i be that stupid?

That is perfectly fine for me

Yes, I do agree that I am stupid and not as smart as a lot of human out there.

I can try

I have the passion

I have the determination

I have the motivation

I have the urge

I have the knowledge

I have the skills

I have the experience

I have the idea

I have the goal

I have what I need

I should really make it perfect

I should master what I learn

Be myself

If it is not okay with the others

then let it be

It is my life that matters now

Think about myself 1st now

Do now see how people view me

but do only see how I view myself

The advise I get is

"Pamper yourself when you need it!"

Thanks for the long chat

Thanks for letting me know how are you

Thanks for leading me back to myself

Thanks for wipe tears off my face

Thanks for caring about me

Thanks for all the advise

I should never forget about it

Thanks for everything

I shall stand strong and up for myself

*smile*