Camp

Overall i really did enjoy that camp

my goodness

i am going crazy

i love the bed

i love the air

i love the bathrooms

i love the water

i love the activity

i love the lorry truck

i love all the trees

i love the frog

i love the cat

i love the food

i love the time

i love the memory

i love the people there

i love the encouragement there

i love all the things there

i love the fear there

i love the history there

i love the cave there

i love the journey

i really treasure all the emotions there

although i come back with all the scars here and there

but all the good memories is much more than all of that

if i am given the chance again

i will definitely go there again

Have Fun

I really really

want to have fun starting from tomorrow

I think nature is really my place

I really want to get that feeling again

That indescribable feeling that I feel whenever I was near them

That was really incredible

I really want to relax all my tensed body and start to compete again and prepare all great for my next presentation and all the coming quizzes and finals

I want that great feeling to concur me

I want to strike again

I want to strike to the top again

Yes!!

I will

I will

I will do it

I will let myself enjoy the whole process and will not let others ruin that special moment of mine going back to all the memories

Tink

tink tink tink

wat lah~~~

juz nothing to do so drop by here and do some non-sense here

hahaha ha ah

Money

I know sometimes i need money desperately

but please

do not think that i am the person that can be bribe by money

don't u ever think that money can buy all my stuff

including my time, my freedom and everything

how many times did i say no to you

please juz believe

that

i am not that materialistic person

Happen

Everyday

everyone is facing different difficulties

but face it bravely

do not scared for failure

as

FAILURE IS NOT FATAL

Where?

Is it that there is no one here for me to believe anymore?

I can’t imagine that people you think is the best became the worst in just a second

I start to hate myself for believing others so easily

Why can’t I just learn from the past and prepare for the future

Why can’t everyone just be nice to everyone and have no expectation towards each other

This actually teaches me not to judge others only on my own point of view

I always like crying when thinking of all these

Is that the tears is for my stupid-ness?

Is that the tears is for my careless-ness?

Is that the whole world is like that

Expectation is a bad thing

People think they know you well but actually not

They hurt, belittle and other bad things that one can think about

How come I never ever learned from all the mistakes that I had made

What a really stupid me

Seeing something more or knowing something more is really bad for health

It is very hard to not be involved when you knew that what is actually happening

Leaving is one of the options available

Am I really a coward to choose to leave again?

What I know is that

Leaving or running away is the choice where you run away even further from the solution

But there is always a choice of leaving in every situation

Who in this world will really fully understand?

Why the people always say that there is always light at the end of the tunnel?

Where is the tunnel going to end?

Where is the light that I have been finding?

When will the light be here??

Will I be able to stand until the light to be here?

Is this going to destroy all the good memories?

I really have no idea about that

I know that there are always good and bad things happening in our life

But after the bad one, will the good one be here?

I know that I am always cheery and bubbly

That’s why my name is spell that way

But can I become a pessimist just once

Again why my heart ache when I think about that again

Is that going to end

I really hope so

And I really hope it is going to happen fast

Listening to: 2PM Gimme The Light

Heartbeat

Everyone’s heartbeat is normal

Why mine will fluctuate

Can’t it stop

Can’t it just pause like we watch dvd and start it back again

Why God can’t create us with the heartbeat that can be pause

Sometimes people do need this kind of facility

To live longer in this earth that is so darn complicated

Rest is important so that people can have a longer journey

Where is rest now?

When can people rest?

I am tired

He is tired

She is tired

We are tired

They are tired

So?

The earth continues to spin and your heart continues to beat with a stable rhythm

Listening to: 2PM Heartbeat

Again

Again

The feel of typing is really good

I am amazed that I am in love with this kind of weird and odd feeling

I feel so free when both on my hand are on the keyboard and my ten little fingers on different place on the keyboard and start typing what my mind is thinking

It is really an odd process where all the words keep flowing like water from my brain to my fingers and to the screen

Again and again

I type and type and type

Do not really feel like stopping

I admit that I am that kind of person who thinks a lot when I am alone and when I have nothing to concentrate on

The urge is even stronger when my emotions are pulling me off balance

When I am on the extreme end

I feel like typing

As if the words and the fingers on the keyboard will understand my feeling

As if they will help me to express the feeling out smoothly

Is this a way again to escape from the reality?

I hope not

This is bad when I am really addicted to typing

Can’t just everything go away and let nothing happen?

Again & Again things happened again

Again & Again feelings are back to haunt me

I really hate that very much

Listening To: 2PM Again&Again

Self Pity

That’s what is hate the most of myself

Now I really hate what I am doing now

Thinking of such nonsense that I cant really forget

Have I really done something wrong

That I put the blame on myself

Is it tat I am wrong all the time

Crazy

think about that was reallly crazy

i can't really describe the kind of feeling that really slap me right on the cheek

it sounded crazy

when i start to look at him

it was really indescribable

it was really a wow that hit me hard

but he was just fine i guess

it was something else about him that attracts me

something that i did not even know by myself

i found him interesting

i found that myself wanted to know him more

i found myself wanting to get closer to him

i found myself seeing him as something more than just someone presence there

i now think that all these are damn super crazy

not that a normal person will do

in a normal situation

URGH~~

i need to find that what is really attracting me now

so that i can stop my non-sense act

Thinking back

I really agree that he is a very good friend

so that is why i trusted him so so so much

so that is why he is one of them friend who i wanted to treasure so much

but everything seems to be out of control

so therefore it has became till the disastrous stage where anything cannot help to fix that

i think it is really stupid of that particular person

who because of one person alone

and let go of every single thing that he had before

what a waste

but do you really want to sympathize him??

no??

yeah??

it depends

but this is what he get due to his own fault and action

who can we blame??

but thinking back

what had he done and the response that he get is a total mess

everyone who saw that will sympathize with him

so is that real good?

who knows

not even a single human in this earth can give their judgement towards them

it is what happened that we did not know

it is what they feel that we did not know

it is what they think that we did not know

everything is not in the hand of God

He is way too busy to take care of everyone