Fun

I did have fun in the kick-boxing kind of class
I found that this is actually a nice way to channel out
all the anger that I kept inside
that I can no longer show

i found that when the trainer say "HARDER!"
my body is immediately react to that

when the trainer say "aim your target"
the face of HIM
came out
i think this shows that
i really need to punch him
i am really furious at him deep down

i keep punching his face
kicking his face
i really think he deserve all these
after what he did
with only his mouth and his action

take that
i say
for revenge purpose

i am more relax after that

now....
having so much pain
on my hand and back

Said

That is what they said to me

People one:
"Cherry, why you are not going?? The incident is like a decade or a century ago, why can't you just let go?"

People two:
"Cherry, the past had already past. Nobody even talks about it anymore. Is it that hard? I know you won't go out because there has some people that you do not like about. I guess they will be happy because you are there if you really went."

It is the past
I do not suffer over it a lot now
but what i want to voice out is
it is actually easier for you to say than for me to do it in real life

When i talked about those dark memories of mine
I will be smiling and laughing
when i did all those flash back
but did you guys saw
those feeling and tears in my eyes

I laugh because I found myself foolish inside the story
I smile because I survive from that

do not think i am that kind of people that remember everything bad of another person
i am just being used to acting like this
i am just scared that i will be soft-hearted again

Friends

The he or the she

that:

1. trust you in whatever decision you made
2. never doubt you
3. give full support to you whenever and wherever
4. hug you when you need it
5. listen to the phone call with you crying as the background music
6. who lend you the shoulder
7. who understand you
8. who can talk with you the whole night non-stop
9. who can look at you differently and convey the message across
10. who will advise me
11. who will critise me
12. who will tell me what is right to do without breaking my own personality and pride
13. who will be with me forever

that sound easy

but not very but i met some

Memories

This is a fact that cannpot be denied
I sometimes hate it also

just because i start talking about the past
i just can't get rid of it

I want to get away from it
but true in the sense that
part and parcel of life is full of memories
that may hurts

can i get over it
i does not hurt anymore now
not as much as last time
but it is now a reminder

appreciate your true friends
treasure them

words

有时人的心总是很复杂的，它可以很坚强也可以很脆弱..坚强的时候可以一滴眼泪也没有即时当时的心是淌着血的...同样的当脆弱的时候可能一句话就足以造成严重的创伤，可能造成永远在心中的痛，再也无发回头了...

saw this words in facebook written by one of my senior

this is very true for me
i guess everyone has bad times in life
this is very usual for all people who live in this world
it depends on how bad the bad time is
and how you really handle the bad time both physically and mentally

i really understand this few words in depth
because i think i had pass this stage
and anticipating another similar incident
and hopefully it wont happen again
if it happens again
i will really handle it very well because i had an experience before

very well
i can still feel the impact of this words
it seems to be carve in my heart
everything made me realise that

sad and being hurt is what we need to be familiarise with
heart of human being is very weak
it is actually made of glass
and i do not really agree that people who has a metal heart
it is just that
the heart is still glass and after a lot of breaking
the heart will unconsciously build some metal to surround it to act as a shield
so that the risk of being hurt is minimize to the minimum
but how strong the shield is
it will break someday some how

words is sometimes sharper than any weapons in the world
it hurts people so fast and the pains of it retains
how long can it retain?
it depends on how strong the word is and what is the tone like

maybe one sentence is enough to kill a person
and
it being hurts forever
the person has to bare the pain forever
and the one who says that can really run away from being painfull
how unfair is that

but that is it
life is always unfair
reality is always cruel

thats life
thats life~~

The first

it is really kind of different experience
and it is fun
except the ache after that

i really hope christina have a good laugh with my not so funny words and expression

there is always the 1st time anyway

Announcement

Dear friend.....

My phone no has change from maxi to digi

The no has remain

just a quick reminder here

i will soon have a new maxi no

and will inform you guys about that

this announcement is computer generated

Bother

I really hate this semester very much

everyone may think that this sem is much more relaxing and less trouble

in some sense yes

but in some sense no......

i have to really think what to study in degree

where?

when?

and most importantly what is the $$$$$ like??

URGH

i really hate to kill my brain cells but too bad life is so cruel that i have to......

The previous plan was to go into UOL(University of London) external programme

therefore....

i took

1. Calculus
2. Accounting Principles
3. Microeconomics
4. Macroeconomics

as my electives in foundation

who knows...

that not everything can go as what you planned

go and review the requirement and the course structure like for UOL

who knows

1. 100% exam based
2. no course work
3. registration fee (in pounds)
4. exam fee(in pounds)
5. quite irrelevant subjects
6. 3 main concepts : theoretical, analytical and mathematical
7. no resit for 1 subject.....have to redo the whole year

my goodness....

100% is surely killing me

i do not want to have the SPM style again

absorb absorb like a sponge and vomit everything back out

my memory is surely limited now

no way

to memorize 4 subject's work and everything that is new to me and vomit back out

NO NO NO NO NO.......

the registration and exam fees are so darn high.......

have to convert to pounds

my goodness.....

now is 6......something

later maybe it will be back to 7...something

it is sure killing

can have scholarship

but must maintain the CGPA for 3.5 every year

siao leh.....

ok never mind

fail cant resit then redo the whole year

i do not have the time to re-do and re-do again

and my parents do not print notes k?

nevermind

shall really drop this plan and move on to another

shall take UEL(Univeristy of East London) instead of UOL(University of London)

People, any good advice??

Trust

I personal do think that this is the most important in my life

it can be exact to say that it has the top priority than many other things

sometime things do happen and i myself can really recall much

as time pass, those memories that are not important will be automatically delete by my

intelligent brain cells

something really absurd happened

how can they even say that i mislead them with my words??

how can you did not even ask when you saw that little resit there

i had even written there for november 2010

duh~~

u say i misleaded you guys....

firstly i do not believe that i had done this kind of mistake

i have been working for so long

and it had became a routine for me to talk to all the parents the same way as i talked to you

but after that thought

i doubt myself again.....

did i really said that?

i really can't remember much because you are just one of the parents of many others

how can i remember who is who and what did i said ?

the incident happened in last year october......

how should i going to remember

i really doubted myself of saying that

but there are someone or others that really trust me

what i want to say is that

thanks for having trust in me that i did not

i really feel that trust is very important since then

it is very different when something happened and there is no one blaming you but someone saying : "We trust you did not say that! Do not worry about that...we trust you."

I feel the idiotic side of me again

as others can even trust me for not doing that kind of things

and myself here doubting my own actions?

what is the logic behind all these?

Thanks for the trust

Thanks for the experience

Thanks for the fun

Thanks for the teachings

Thanks for the lesson

Thanks for everything

Life

Busy life started
and mostly all of the planned plan should be really
going to be carried out

Its really bad
and tiring
long long
long
URGH~~

i dun even know what i want to say

such idiot

Brain DEAD

I am really going to be brain dead sooner or later
using of my brain too much

and cant get everything that i want

FRUSTRATED

加油！！

陈慧慈
加油~
这个世界上，困难重重
每走一步
都是有血、有梦想、有泪的

陈慧慈
加油
不要哭
把眼泪擦干！
抬头挺胸
面对未来

自己的路
要自己慢慢地走
没有人能帮助你
包括自己的家人

加油！！
你可以的
你真的可以的

不要再难过
不要再流泪
不要再想去靠别人
因为这是你的生命，你要对自己的生命负责
不要依赖你的家人或朋友

现实的世界真得非常的残酷
看清它吧

加油~！！！

Breathe

I almost forget how actually to breathe
everyday is either me running after the time
or it is the time that is running after me

I hate to play games with time
Actually time always win

What can i actually say with to the winner??
Don't win??
Let me win once??

It is the brand new 1st week in college
and i sounded very tired
time...
i need more time.....

please...
granted me 48 hours please??
i will be very grateful for that.....

People...
remember to stop and breathe for your own good
even though you are really superb busy....
take a break and breathe

Bussy

WHAT I CAN REALLY SAY??

its totally busy busy busy and busy
everyday is so exhausting
so so so so sad~~

I am having difficulties to even breathe
but i guess
i am just not familiar with the recent timetable
after 1 week everything will be fine
hopefully

i will get use to it with the new timtable
busy people
busy busy busy

背影

那天的晚上
不知道月色是如何
可是在你旁边的我
是连自己的心情都不知道的
大笨蛋

心中觉得沉重
看着你的脸
瘦了
累了
可是什么都帮不上

看着你躺在我身边的背影
听见你在我身边哭泣
房间暗暗的
看不见的泪水

让我慌了
不知道说什么话来安慰
只知道应该在你身边
静静不出声

知道你很辛苦
知道你承受很大的压力
知道你在新加坡很寂寞
知道你很想念这里的每一个朋友
这一些的一些
我都知道
可是
在这里的我
什么都帮不上忙
很惭愧呢

不知道你到底有几次试自己躲起来一个人哭
不知道你到底有几次试着在道别的时候不哭
不知道你到底在那边生活得好吗？

朋友
辛苦了
要加油
我会在这里等你
我会在这里帮你加油
我们要一起努力

除了这些
我还能说什么？

A Brand New Plan

Every year
as what everyone will do
haha...
me to will have a brand new new year plan for this whole 2010
hope it is a wonderful year~~


Here comes the long long list:

1. As usual academic 1st - Full HD for the last 3 subjects
2. Learn either how to speak either Japanese or Korean
3. Read as much novel as possible to reinforce my poor english
4. Work as much as possible to get more $$
5. Get myself a netbook
6. Get myself a new handphone
7. Gathering with all my beloved friends
8. Gym
9. Shop like mad
10. Be happy
    
11. Get someone

Listening to:
DBSK's Love Bye Love

moody person
Chi

New

When the clock struck 12
the end of the year
it is a new page of all of our life
the 1st page

it does not really to be happy and shouting to each other

I have been crying when
i heard the fire works
My heart was like shouting
The end of the painful year~~
no more pain and hard time for this beautiful 2010

its the end~~~

THE END of 2009 and THE BEGINNING of 2010

No more hard time
No more emo-ing

only happiness and beautifull-ness



Listening to:
Tohoshinki's Lovin You

The crying baby
Chi